What do I tell him? You chose someone else over your family? Daddy died in the war? Give you respect or give him the truth. How can I explain to a 3 year old, why he went to living with his dad and seeing him every day of his life to once a week if he is lucky? Daddy is too busy chasing ass, drinking, doing things he has no business doing. Each time he asks me, I am unsure of what to say to him. I hate lying to my son. He deserves better than this. He deserves to have a father, a good one. The one you used to be. He hasn't had you for too long. His first year of life, you were so high on your shit, you couldn't even remember he was alive half the time. I stuck by you then, raised him alone, each time you promising me it was the last time...it never was. Finally the drugs ended. I was so proud of you, I couldn't of been more happier. I married you, made our family complete. Then you choose random girls, over us. If it's not drugs tearing you down, it's always something else. Forgiveness is not a word in my vocabulary anymore, it has vanished just like our marriage vows have. My body and heart have become numb to the bullshit you have given me for 6 years. I hope one day, I can trust again and not look at every man as if he is the biggest piece of shit in the world. All that matters is that one day you will realize your son needs you, I will be Ok. Always am..........
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